At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or resentful. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.

All illness is caused by not forgiving.

Native American belief

Forgiving others or yourself does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoers action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness is about creating a state for giving both to self and others and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.

Roger Ellerton

Roger Ellerton, PhD, CMC is the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies Inc. He is an educator, consultant, coach, executive and well-respected speaker, with over thirty years of experience in management, management of change, process renewal, professional and personal development and training.

Roger is a certified trainer in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), as well as a certified management consultant (CMC) and former executive in the Canadian federal government. He was previously a tenured professor at the University of New Brunswick in Canada, and was listed in the International Who?s Who in Education.

For over fifteen years, he has been ? and continues to be ? a student of personal development methodologies. He has written many articles, twelve of which have been published in recognized research journals, is the author of "Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You" and is the co-designer and presenter on the twelve-audiotape series "Change at the Speed of Thought!"